lacking support for support

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:13

It sucks when your parents don’t support the things you feel really passionately about doing. It sucks even harder when they have absolutely no faith in you.

I am so stoked for going to Colorado this summer for Campus Crusade. I wasn’t even going to apply had Caellin not asked me about it a week before the application was due. God’s been putting this on my heart for the past few months though, and now that I have this opportunity to go and learn how He can use me to build stronger relationships, there’s no way I’m NOT going. The letters for support are in the mail, phone-calls will be made, I’m ready to start compiling the mission fund.

But today Mom told me that if I don’t raise enough money for the trip, I’m basically not going. Period. She’s not even looking into plane tickets to issue her frequent flyer miles for because she “doesn’t want to waste her points on a trip I might not be going on.” Ummm ouch. Thanks for the faith. “I’m glad you’re really optimistic about raising the money to go, Kayla, but you have to be realistic here.” Hmmm, double ouch.

Even when I raise the money I need, even when I do go on this summer project, I will be crushed knowing that my parents (or mom at least), wasn’t behind me nearly as much as I thought she’d be. What am I supposed to do with that? And why am I even surprised? This is nothing new…

Good thing I’ve got God to fill that void of support. Pray for me, pray that I get the support I am seeking, pray for my parents that they turn their attitudes toward the positive.

C’est la vie,
Chappie

two down, thirteen to go.

“Life moves fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Ferris Bueller

It’s kinda chilling how quickly winter quarter flew by. I definitely was on campus more weekends than I wanted to be, but that made no difference to the fast-paced passage of time. Don’t understand how that can be, since first quarter seemed to trudge by slowly.

But winter quarter was a good quarter, despite the rainy, cold homesick(and friendsick)ness. I managed to kick booty in woodshop, impress my architecture professors, discover some yummy ethnic restaurants in town, and grow closer with my future roommates and bible study girls. I managed to keep a routine workout schedule (and recently developed an obsession with jogging through Poly Canyon), abstain from every ounce of chocolate (consciously at least), and lose 4 lbs…(lol how did I do that???) I managed to steal a kiss on Valentine’s Day, meet someone new in the bookstore, and avoid Randall as much as humanly possible. Not bad, not bad.

I grew a lot closer to God this quarter too. I started going to Campus Crusade’s Unplugged (and absolutely love it), started reading my bible and doing devotionals before going to sleep, and started relying on prayer for answers. Update on Summer btw: I’m going to Colorado for summer project! I am also being discipled by Caellin, my bible study leader, this next quarter so who knows how God’s going to use me in that situation. He totally answered my prayers and I’m unbelievably stoked.

Moving right along aren’t we?

On Thursday afternoon before driving home, I had a slight breakdown in the realization that freshman year will be over in 13 weeks. what. the. fuh-cuk. How can that be?! My friend Kelsey across the hall moved out that day too, since she’ll be studying abroad in Thailand for Spring. It was like a flash-forward of what Sequoia will look like the next time finals roll around. So one of my goals for spring is to really establish some lasting friendships with people. I’m worried that after June, I’ll just see some of my hall-mates on campus and wave and that’ll be it. I can’t deal with that. I’ve met some amazing people in the dorm and would like substantial relationships with them.

Two quarters down, thirteen to go!

C’est la vie,
Chappie

ps. Happy Easter & have a relaxing spring break!

oh Seacrest, how you make me laugh

“If a man insisted on always being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.” -Herodotus Two finals (health & arch history) patiently await me tomorrow, but for now, I’m DONE studying. After beating my brain with information about four kinds of cancers, the buildings Le Vau designed during Louis XIV’s reign, and the dangers of I-don’t-even-know-how-many illegal drugs, I’m exhausted. Done. It’s all in God’s hands now. To prevent my brain from frying, watching American Idol has become my ideal study break. With my petite 19″ TV in repair at Best Buy, I’ve become a fan of this no-commercial business that the internet offers. FYI: the “hour-long” program on FOX is actually only 42 minutes. Now I’m not a loyal fan of the show or anything, although I love Simon Cowell, but I remember seeing commercials during the Superbowl of this year’s extra-ordinary talent. And so far, I’m impressed. I watched the entire first season, parts of the second, and as every year of Idol continued, I watched less and less with what I thought was a busy high school schedule. Puh-lease. What I’ve realized after watching this seventh season as compared to the first season of Kelly Clarkson & Justin Guarini, is that 1) the judges have some serious issues, 2) performers struggle a LOT more with song choice than they used to, and 3) Ryan Seacrest has become a fictional character. Okay. To start with the judges: Randy Jackson is in the midst of a SERIOUS mid-life crisis with his blatant need to act 20 years younger than he really is. He’s latching onto the phrase, “Juss keepin’ it real,” which is now considered outdated slang and the guy’s about to hit 50. C’mon dude, there’s nothing wrong with proper English grammar. And Paula? The woman has GOT to be on at least 3 different medications because all she does is “blah blah blah blah blah….blah,” or reword exactly what Randy said (usually in the form of “blah blah blah blah blah”). Simon is still Simon (yay). The crowd this time around likes to boo him a lot more than they used to. You’d figure that 7 years into this show that people would expect him to be brutally honest, but I guess the audience thinks that booing is a novel idea. I personlly appreciate Mr. Cowell’s honesty. The performers this season, however, are top-notch. Sure some of them have the problem of choosing the “wrong song for their voices,” but can you really expect a 17-year-old girl from the country to know exactly which song suits her voice? My predictions for winner are David Archuleta or Carly (the Irish girl). What really gets me pumped to watch the show, is Ryan Seacrest’s announcement, “Hello. [pause] I’m Ryan Seacrest, and this….is AmERican Idol.” And the music cues in. That intro is overly theatrical and extremely fun to imitate; it’s all about the tone in his voice that just makes him seem so fake…haha. Listening to his radio-show on my way to school last year, I just figured he feigned his voice to sound more interesting, but no. He just speaks with a seemingly rehearsed voice. Haha, whatever…I’ve adopted the ritual of announcing the show with him (in his tone) at the start of every episode. Hey, if Ryan ever gets sick…an understudy is available. The show is really entertaining to watch for all the above reasons and I have a feeling that after this season, our music industry will have not just one, but a couple new voices to throw into the mix. Watch for yourself: http://www11.alluc.org/alluc/tv-shows.html?lang=en&view=catSearch&sWord=american+idol Maybe I’ll forget who wrote L’encyclopedie tomorrow, or what helper T-cells do for the immune response, but I will remember what David Archuletto sang on Tuesday. lol C’est la vie, Chappie

an empty turquoise case

“Good habits result from resisting temptation.” -Ancient Proverb

Bad habits. That basically characterizes life in the dorm this year… I remember thinking to myself as a high school senior that I would start taking care of these bad habits, these imperfections of hygiene, but yeah. That never really happened.

1. Biting my nails–I’ve been biting them since I could chew. For all the non-nail-biters out there, here’s the lowdown: I don’t bite them because they taste good (because they don’t) or because I have an anxiety problem (because I don’t). I know it’s disgusting & want to stop, but it’s always been a part of my life; I do it without even noticing. A few years ago I attempted giving my nails up for lent, but that lasted a mere two weeks before I realized that some nails had fresh, jagged edges. When did that happen?

2. Flossing–Never grew up with flossing as part of my morning routine. It took some sleepovers at Kayleigh’s house to realize that flossing is kinda important. I don’t even remember Karly and I having flossing cartridges around our bathroom growing up, but now that I’m in college, I really started making that part of my morning after brushing my teeth. Unfortunately, I used the last thread of my Oral-B minty wax floss and ever since, my teeth have scowled at me for using some cheap brand from Campus Market.

3. Wearing the night guard–I’m a teeth-grinder by heredity. My mom’s teeth are pretty flat these days, so to prevent me from 1) an aching jaw in the mornings, and 2) flat teeth when I’m her age, I wear a night-guard. My dentist presented it to me all shiny & clean in this cute turquoise container, similar to retainer cases. And I was pumped to start wearing it instead of my pink retainer from 8th grade that has some gnarly bends and deformations from misuse. And with all new (demanded) habits, like wearing a night guard or retainer, I actually followed through. At first. These days the case just sits in the top drawer of my night stand with no plasticky guard inside. I forget to bring it back into my room after cleaning it in the mornings…

I’m making a vow to change these pitfalls during Easter Break, so wish me luck and faithfulness. Down with the bad habits!
C’est la vie,
Chappie

musicians are magicians

“When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.” -Edgar Watson Howe

I appreciate passionate musicians. This isn’t anything new, but after watching (or half-watching) the film Once this weekend, I realized just how deep my adoration settles for the Struggling Song-writer.

It’s a marvel that some musicians have the ability to make listeners really, truly feel what they’re singing. Damien Rice makes me somber every single time I listen to “Sleep, Don’t Weep.” Vanessa Carlton pulls me into her world of pleasant confusion in “White Houses.” The Rocket Summer makes me want to break up with someone just so I can feel exactly what he feels for her in “Goodbye Waves and Driveways.” I guess that’s what really makes a talented musician, that Abra Kadabra of emotion an artist can cast on listeners.

What’s most interesting is that you don’t even need to know what the singer is going through, what their story is, what the details are; you don’t know and shouldn’t even care, because there’s a story there nonetheless. Even if you get minimal lyrics to chew on, you still do. That’s just amazing to me.

A talented musician doesn’t have to scream his head off to get the point across like The Rocket Summer and Glen Hansard do (but those are exceptions), because it’s the subtleness and gentleness in the voices of artists like Michelle Branch and James Blunt. Worship singers are amazing at pulling listeners/believers in. But that’s exactly what they’re supposed to do: bring an audience closer to God. It’s happened so many times when a pastor has delivered a novel and intriguing message, but I don’t fully understand it until the music starts playing. So thank you Tim Hughes, Matt Redman, and Pat Little for completing the messages.

thirsty for some good music? drink up:

Damien Rice–“Sleep Don’t Weep”
Vanessa Carlton–“Home”
Glen Hansard–“Say it to Me Now”
The Rocket Summer–“Goodbye Waves and Driveways”
Michelle Branch–“Hotel Paper”
Tim Hughes–“Everything”

C’est la vie,
Chappie