from such great heights

halfway home

Posted in life by chapwoman on February 9, 2009

it is the sixth week of winter quarter here in San Luis, meaning the school year is 50% complete.  so far, year two has felt like one deep breath and i’m laying in my bed wondering where all the hours studying for structures went, where the hours cooking for my roommates and the hours spent in studio escaped to.

all it takes is some growing up to realize that time wasn’t meant to pass us slowly.  it was meant to rush by us, to irritate our skin and to ruffle our clothes, leaving us completely dumbstruck by our yearbook photos and what life was like back on the playground.  God created time to do this, to make life feel like a spec on eternity’s time-line.

and i laugh at myself for trying to “manage” this universal clock, trying to cram every nook and cranny of my schedule with an appointment, a chore, a friend…because the Inventor of time didn’t design it to be controllable.  i feel like time is this abstract blob continually bursting out of the seams i put it in, and it just keeps expanding.  and expanding.  if only i could sit back and watch all of this life unravel, marvel at my friends who meander through it with each of their unique personalities and habits, wonder at this sudden recession we’re experiencing, even reflect on how i wound up in this town with this major and these interests.  but i can’t do that.  because i’m slightly OCD with my time and have this slight problem of overbooking myself.

summer isn’t too far off though.  i can smell it more and more everday, even as February raindrops splatter outside my window.  time will scoot June right along.

_chappie

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