from such great heights

at home and homesick

Posted in life by chapwoman on July 12, 2008

being hydrated isn’t always a good thing. sure it’s optimal when 9000 feet above sea level in Estes Park, Colorado, but when you’re home in Anaheim, hydrating yourself just makes the tears fall faster.

i’ve only been home since 4 this afternoon, but i’ve had puffy eyes since before that at the airport in Denver. i’ve realized that nothing makes me feel worse than the feelings that come with saying goodbyes. i hate the feeling of waiting to say goodbye to those I love, i hate the feeling of nostalgia for something i no longer have with me, i hate the feeling of anticipation knowing things will be different once goodbyes are said and done.

today during my flight, I sat in the window seat and jotted down every memory I could think of from summer project while randomly glancing outside only to think of the next thing I could write. three full pages of bullet-pointed memories and quotes from some of my favorite people now sit contently in my notebook so I can read them whenever I feel like and hopefully relive, if only for a moment, some of those memories.

since i’ve been sitting here on my bed with tears dripping down my cheeks, I’ve prayed to God that He’ll provide me with strength to live out some of the things I learned at Lifelines and that He’ll protect those 35 other amazing people I lived with and learned from. I’ve also been wallowing in fear of what the next two months at home could be like with no fellowship with other believers, with no grace and truth environment, with no strength to open up to those who truly love me. that is why I need strength from above because I fear I won’t have any now that I am away from Shayla, from Kaitlin, from Mark.

summer project was definitely the most fun and worthwhile month of my life, so I hope and pray that I’ll be able to live out what I learned and forever keep my 16 other lifeliners in my heart.

C’est la vie,


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