from such great heights

blonde ambition

Posted in life by chapwoman on December 10, 2007

“Everything’s changing and I don’t feel the same.” -Keane

after going to the choir show last night and seeing people from high school, i forgot how much i’ve changed. Not emotionally, but physically. “Oh my gosh! Your hair!” I heard that all night and completely forgot that I used to have those long wavy blonde locks, the ones I’d tie up in a messy bun, or straighten to unwantingly look like “LC.” And looking back through pictures from senior year and even Kaua’i this summer, I really do miss my hair.

“It’s just hair; it’ll grow back,” is what I’ve always heard. No. It isn’t “just hair.” It’s who you are, especially when you’ve had it a certain color or certain length, most of your life. For me, blonde was a happy-go-lucky, smart, high school girl who didn’t need anything but her friends and energy to keep her going. I feel different just looking at those old pictures. Maybe it’s because I decided to slice my hair off right before college. Different look = a different person. Well at least that’s how I feel. Now I understand why the girls who go on talk-shows to cut their 3 feet tresses off start bawling like babies. It’s not about the hair, it’s about that fear of losing a part of yourself.

And when you look at pictures of yourself in high school, seeing yourself with close friends who know and understand much of who you are, seeing yourself in activities you used to do back at home, seeing yourself as comfortable, it only reminds you of how different now is. It’s like there’s a glimpse of hope in me that changing my look back will bring me some sort of peace. Comfort? I guess that’s the right word.

Let’s just see how brunette fairs in the winter.

c’est la vie,
{v} Chappie


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