from such great heights


Posted in life by chapwoman on October 10, 2007

“All the things left undiscovered leave me empty and left to wonder: do I need you?

I have always been keen on seeing things that are real, things that exist right in front of me. A smiling friend who I’ve not seen in a few months, math symbols on a chalkboard, a mere building with subtle architectural clues about where it came from. The only thing I am completely comfortable with not seeing but knowing it’s real, is God. So I’d like to say I understand the art of seeing.

Within the first few minutes of meeting a person, I feel like I’ve discovered him, even if it’s just a tidbit about personality. It can be the way she laughs, his body language, what she chooses to talk about. What she chooses NOT to talk about. It may be wrong, but I make judgements about people after an initial five-minute conversation with them. We all do.

When I find out I’m wrong about someone, well, I usually don’t accept that I’m wrong about someone. That’s my first problem: stubborness. But don’t you feel so deceived when you find things out about someone you thought you knew? It sucks hardcore to realize that you were wrong the entire. effing. time. I just went through that whole realization phase and have had to cope, but whatever. It is what it is. No matter how many “deep” conversations you have with friends, no matter how well you think you know people’s innermost thoughts, none of it really does matter unless you know their habits, their mannerisms, their character.

So embrace those first five minutes of meeting that special new person who stepped into your life. Then work from there. I’ve learned that a short conversation doesn’t say everything about someone you just meet, but it sure says a lot more than you’d expect. Five minutes is all it takes to discover them. That new girl may be your next best friend or that random acquaintance you see on your way to class every morning or your next ex-girlfriend. You never know.

What’s most intersting is that you can actually undiscover someone. You thought she was gorgeous, until you saw her smoking that cigarette. You thought he was kind, until you saw how he treated his parents. You thought she was the dumb blonde, until you saw her test scores. You thought he was your saving grace, until…whenever. Undiscovering someone can be both a high and a low, but usually it’s a low isn’t it? Why is that? I think as humans we naturally create expectations of almost everything unknown to us. We expect to be right, and when we aren’t, we crash and burn. Bummer.

Or maybe not. Who says that undiscovering someone is a bad thing? After all, you gain more insight than ever before. The truth, even if it stabs you in the front, is always better than living with a facade right in front of your precious, naive face. In fact, you are that much closer to touching something real when you undiscover someone for the first time, or the next dozen times… but if undiscovering someone means you should move on, by all means, tie your shoelaces.

It’s a blessing when you discover someone new. It’s also a blessing when you undiscover someone who was fooling you from the very start, but you didn’t even know it.


3 Responses

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  1. angllhugnu2 said, on October 10, 2007 at 7:18 am

    “It’s a blessing when you discover someone new….” Especially, when you discover that someone to be you.

    Several decades ago, when I taught seventh and eighth graders, I had an exercise for them to complete while they survived my personal growth classes with them. I would have them list the names of their five closest friends. After a bit of grumbling and mumbling they would next be told to list the strongest characteristic they shared with each of them. All the grumbling and mumbling suddenly stopped.


    Well….they began to think about why these persons were in their lives. It would be soon after they completed their list I would explain to them the persons they bring into their lives represent some one major aspect of some character trait they like about their selves. And yes, somebody can have a friend who is a bully or abusive in their life because they might be bullied and abused verbally or physically at home.

    My point is this, it is not the first five minutes into the conversation that draws you to speak with person, its the you are hoping to meet in the person you see across the room who best fits the requirements of your comfort zone and all the perceptions therein.

    Author of IM with God

  2. angllhugnu2 said, on October 10, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    “Talk to the person, and show you care about them. Trust me, it works. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen right away. They may be unsure of how to respond. Rediscover them for who they are, don’t undiscovered. That’s the best I can say!”

    When you choose to converse, choose also to listen. The fog of our perceptions taint the beauty of those we meet. A discussion driven by prejudice is but a monologue.


    Author of IM with God

  3. mariamsultana said, on February 24, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    “What’s most intersting is that you can actually undiscover someone.”

    I really enjoyed that, I’ve never been able to put into words. Thanks!


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