today i opened my notebook

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{beautiful watercolor via keinyo white}

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there exists a word that has me in chains, the same word that has been breaking me since september, been breaking me since i can remember.

this word took me on an adventure this quarter, an emotional one to say the least, and in the fullness of its definition this word led me to blame someone else for my folly. and for this, i am incredibly, incredibly ashamed.

this word led me to believe that i am allowed to expect things, that i deserve answers, that i can cookie-cut God into my life where I think He should show up.

this word has satan wrapped up in my mirror, leaving me desolate in a place of sadness.

and it breaks me – over and over again.

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this word is pride.

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but today i opened my notebook and was humbled by these divine words:

“our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
give us today our daily bread.
forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.”

Jesus is my purpose. His kingdom is my calling.  And His will — it will be done.
And in the process, pride shall be conquered and I shall be broken, because it isn’t about me.

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“Not to us, O Lord, not to us
but to your name be the glory.”
[psalm 115:1]

most random of thoughts

on the most random of monday nights.

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1

WICKED. live. don’t know where or when, but soon please.

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2

where did these guys come from? and why was i not informed earlier?!
*  this on repeat

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3

found exactly what i want to do when i grow up

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3a
connect historic context w/ the modern

[st. albans school - som - washington dc]

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3b
capture texture & the sense of place

[aldeburgh music - haworth tompkins - london]

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4

painting painting painting painting painting

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5

anna is back today (smiley face)

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6

alaska, why are you leaving me?
barcelona better give you back.

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confessions of a blog reader

this is because i am an avid blog reader. because i have about ten sites on my regular blogroll–this roll including design*sponge, materialicious, and the personal blogs of friends.  this is because i care most about the latter, because i am home without school as distraction or scapegoat for passivity, because i am far away from you and wish i could be closer.

listening to bon iver at work on this cloudy friday afternoon just might be perfect.

[i never thought this is how it would end]

winding down

today has been a long day.

and after this especially long day,
i am excited
to be home.
to be here
in a warm apartment,
plopped down on
a comfy sofa,
with roommates
who bake A-shaped cookies for their class
(but mostly for their teacher for grade-boosting purposes)
and to be here
with text,
with laptop,
with sufjan christmas songs.

the quarter is officially done
as of thursday at 4 pm
and i am one
excited
girl.

…